i know fundamentally who i am and where my core stands.  i was confident that this won't change.  i still am.
but there are moments of unfeeling where it doesn't matter.  the world is open. as long as i don't cross the line, i will be fine. its more of a trial just to try. to liberate yourself from the ground that holds you down. to go to further heights just for awhile. it was great to be lost, to be whatever you wanted to be but knew you couldn't. with no constraints, no filter, the possibilities are endless.
and then there's reality.  it hits hard. you are among hundreds and thousands of people, but internally you're alone.  simply me, a floating soul. searching for a landing that's right because you obviously can't be in the clouds forever. not if you want to hold on to who you were.